Welcome to the completely-devoid-of-any-legitimate-basing DAWG in Him rankings! Each year a few of us take a crack at ranking the teams in our league based on overall perceived strength of team leading into the season, whether it be starting roster strength, depth of roster, durability of roster, or what have you. Which is why this season I wanted to introduce a new style of ranking, the DAWG in Him ranking, inspired by Niner rookie and budding legend, Ricky Pearsall. These rankings have nothing to do with the team’s roster, so if you’re wondering how roster’s effect these rankings, they don’t. Instead, these rankings will take into consideration the Coach’s motivation/Dawg-in-Himness. Certain key factors that will be taken into consideration include:
- Determination – This one is fairly straightforward. How motivated is this coach to win it all this season? Is this a coach showing up to shitpost with the boys, or is this a coach who is primarily invested in going the distance?
- Availability – As the saying goes, the best ability is availability. Just being motivated isn’t what makes someone the ultimate DAWG. A coach who is constantly needing to play catchup or find spare time to manage their team is going to have a hard time making good use of that determination.
- Wisdom – A true DAWG knows where to invest and where to pull back. If you aren’t able to recognize when it’s time to cut ties with an investment, you’ll quickly find yourself knee deep in players who have no long-term or short-term value and that’s a situation no coach wants to be in.
- Grit – Ultimately, being a DAWG is an exercise in grit. In grinding it out. In pushing through the fear of over cautiousness and being willing to risk it sometimes for the biscuit. A true DAWG needs to know when to set conventional wisdom to the side for a moment and to go full-send.
So without further ado, the 2024-2025 Jackman DAWG in Him rankings
- Ian A. – Amunrud may be the most DAWG among us. The man is determined. The man is available. The man studies the game like none other. And he certainly has the grit. It’s probably no coincidence that his DAWG ranking reflects his typical pre-season ranking. He got that DAWG in him, dawg.
- Cook – This season represents the first full season of Cook being a dad. Which means his availability is taking a hit, and there’s no way around it. Every dad in the league has experienced it, and now it’s Jonathan’s turn. Beyond availability, he still retains one of the strongest DAWG ratings, which is what buoys him to nearly the top of this list.
- Paul – When it comes to Grit and Determination, Paul is an OG DG. He does have the expected drawbacks of dad-hood availability, especially with a second little one in the picture. One kid takes all your time. A second kid somehow also takes all your time, while your first kid is still taking all your time. No it doesn’t make sense, but you do it. TBD on how that impacts Paul’s total availability for roster management. Also of note, Paul is a full-send machine.
- Ventura – Shitposter extraordinaire, Ventura is the DAG man. Granted, his determination may be to be the premiere disruptor of the league, but this isn’t about being good at fantasy, this is about how much DAWG we’ve all got.
- Alex – What can I say, I see myself as having strong DWG. I am easily ready to admit that my WG qualities are not on par with the top DAWGs of the league, and that my availability is limited due to aforementioned child-rearing responsibilities. I’m a medium DAWG.
- Melton – The Meltman. He’s got that lowercase dawg in him. He’s got family responsibilities which limits his availability. He’s got real-world goals that come before fantasy football. That said, his determination to have a roster littered with Niner’s players is admirable, if not always advisable. He doesn’t let a little conventional wisdom get in the way of getting his guys.
- Ian C. – The Commish. The man with a plan. The man who has suddenly less personal time than he has in years past… I would say that Ian is not one to take big risks with his roster. He’s usually got a pretty stacked roster so it’s not like he needs to, but the point remains (and again, this isn’t about rosters, this is about coaches DAWGness). He’s still a formidable opponent week-in-and-week-out, so you’d be a fool to take this team lightly just because he’s lower on the DAWG pole.
- Garrett – Being the token drastically-different-time-zone coach for several years running now is always going to have its drawbacks on a coach’s DAWGness. Garrett’s availability severely impacts his responsiveness to game-time issues, by no fault of his own (okay, I guess it’s technically his fault he lives more than halfway across the world).
- Chasen – The People’s NATIONAL Champ. A man near and dear to our hearts. Who gets us to turn out to watch his swim meet mid-work-day. These platitudes are intentionally here to buffer against what I’m about to say. Chasen’s DAWGness is second only to the last place spot on this list. Let me be absolutely clear, every guy on this list has that DAWG in him. This is just a relative ranking. That being said, Chasen has the two-peat laurels that have him comfortable and scared at the same time. He’s sitting on top of the mountain with all the crosshairs trained on him, and he’s here to not fall off the peak, rather than get it. Part of being a DAWG requires fighting to attain ultimate glory. Having obtained it the last two years running, Chasen’s DAWGness is going to falter as a result. Maybe he’ll prove me wrong and show just how much DAWG he’s got in him still, but as of this ranking I place him in the nine spot.
- Mike – Riverboat Mike. The man with the money-line plan. Mike definitely has that DAWG in him, but the focus of his DAWGness is probably more on the real world (his business, his betting lines, etc.), which means that he’s got less DAWG left for the league. The last couple of seasons Mike has been rebuilding, and this season he seems to be taking steps to be more competitive again, but that’s a strategy based mostly on rookies showing out. It’s bold, to be sure, but with real-world ambitions taking a front seat, it logically made sense for this to be the landing point of Mike’s league-focused DAWGness.
And there you have it! If you think you got improperly dogged and that your DAWG ranking should be higher (or lower, I guess), feel free to argue in the comments below.
.) At RB he’s got Mostert trying to recreate that magic from last season (He was RB2 y’all) and a bunch of backups. Once Brooks comes off PUP, he’ll have some hope for growth at that position. WR is a lot of young guys trying to breakout and then Hopkins and Scary Terry trying to bounce back. Again this is clearly a team in transition, but expect them to earn a top pick in this next draft.